Friday, May 9, 2014

Existensial War Musing

 
2023. War Time. Few stand against many. Darkness surrounds the rebels. The war is past any meaning, if a war can ever have meaning, it is only about survival now. It is a hard place to live, and death means next to nothing. But some still stand and fight. Not for any real victory, not even the insane still hope for that. Yet they still stand, and in that there is meaning. 
 
A young man of 25, Alex, is standing alone in an abandoned college dormitory that once served as a rebel base. Old buildings which were once filled with life stand empty. Dark clouds fill the sky. Alex walks forward, an expression of emptiness that is only matched by his environment. He hears something in the bushes and stops for a moment. He then takes half a step away before turning back and stabbing a wryly-looking old man with long hair directly through the heart. The man screams and lets go off his knife. He lets out a strange gurgling sound as he slowly falls to his knees. Alex face does not change as he lets the man fall to the ground on his back. He then pulls the knife out and wipes it on a cloth from his pocket before putting his knife away in it’s concealed holster near his belt. He listens as the man takes his last few breaths, looking into his lifeless-black eyes which were just as dead before he attacked as they are as he leaves this world. Alex does a silent prayer bent on his knees over the man, shutting the man’s eyes and crossing himself before he stands up. He then looks around, wondering if he is still being hunted. Seeing that he is not, he continues to walk away.

Alex enters his sleeping quarters. He turns on the light and turns on his computer. His room is clean and neat. He takes a moment to sit in silence before turning on Mozart and listening to it peacefully with his eyes closed. He then switches the song to the upbeat 80’s rock song “She’s gotta be somebody’s babe” and starts to bob his head playfully. He begins to subtly lip synch the song and sway openly when the door creaks and he immediately jerks his head to it and turns off the music. He then grabs his knife and walks cautiously out the door. The hall is empty. After a moment he is convinced it was nothing and begins to turn away when he hears his name whispered by a familiar voice: “Alex.” 

He stops his dead and turns around. As he walks forward in a dream like state he hears his name called again and begins running. He hears it again and begins sprinting and looking around desperately. After frantically searching the hallway he opens the door to the stairs and looks into the darkness. He then calls out in a voice that is both serious and desperate: “hello.” His voice is quiet and raspy from a lack of use. He calls out again, this time with more guster “hello! Is anyone there? If your there? Please answer! I won’t hurt you!” For a moment he hears nothing and begins to notice how fast his heart is beating. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He then quietly says to himself “I’m just hearing things…get a grip” 

He then turns around and begins to leave through the door when, very quickly, he hears “help me” and begins sprinting down the stairs. He almost knocks the door to the next floor off its hinges as he bursts through it, searching for any sign of life. He calls again “I’m here, please come out! I won’t hurt you, just tell me where you are!” He is met with silence, his heart is pumping very quickly. He then starts running through the hall leading to the door, searching frantically everywhere. “Please… please don’t let me be going crazy…” 

He then reaches the door and spins around in every direction… seeing nothing. “Over here” he hears and he sees the front door closing and hears the sound of feet running. He bolts out the door immediately. The door has a sign which reads “Never go out at night, unless death is your goal.” Alex runs through the abandoned rebel base seeing nothing but feeling as though he is going the right way. He stops in an intersection of paths before he notices something sparkling on the ground: a necklace. He runs to it and picks it up. He looks into it and remembers the girl who wore the necklace. Amy. His light. His partner. His lover. His friend. He remembers the nights they laid awake together in each others arms as they heard the screams and fires. He remembers holding her and surviving with her through the late stages of rebellion, he remembers hoping with her. He remembers her being there for him when he found out his mother was dead. He remembers crying in her arms, holding her so tightly as he realized that she was the last person he knew who was alive. He remembers telling her that he would never let anything happen to her. He remembers her making him promise that he would never let anything take his smile away. He remembers finding out they were having a child. Then… he remembers the night they were ambushed. 

They had planned their escape so well, even fixed up an old Subaru, but they had been tracked and were surrounded at gunpoint. They went for her but he stood in front of them with nothing but a knife and killed them one by one. She stood by his side, shooting their gun. Then they overpowered him and took her. Despite having been shot, he summoned his rage and ran after them, killing everyone that got in his path in ways that he never knew he could before. He didn’t care, their deaths were nothing. But they kept coming. So many of them...why would they send so many? He didn’t care if he was killed anymore, but he knew that if he died he couldn’t save her. He fought his way through them all but...he couldn't hear her anymore. The silence and wind around him was so empty. There was no one left to fight. And she was gone. Then he heard the scream, the horrible scream. His life was taken from him. Everything was gone. And then…a noise behind him. Maybe a twig snapping, maybe something else, he didn’t know. He turned around, picked up a few spare guns, his eyes ready for anything. More men. Lots of them. “One more” one hissed. A blood-churtling scream filled the night. His. The soldiers stepped back, despite having guns, but they were already dead.

He never found the body, but he buried the necklace anyway. He prayed for her. A tears ran down his face as he said goodbye, his face hidden as he looks towards to his shoes. He then quietly added: “I promised you Amy.” He then pulls his head up and smiles a tear-soaked smile. He crosses himself and as he turns away he finds a flower, which he plucks and leaves on her grave. Now he has found her necklace once again. He knows that he never found her body. He tucks his necklace into his pocket and begins running down the path of where he’d found the necklace. He reaches a dead end and slows down. He looks around, his face white and very hot. No expression. For a moment he hears nothing. He has allowed himself to hope…

Then, he hears a sound. Two feet drop from a tree. He turns towards to it, his face does not change. Then he hears two more…and two more. A moment later he is surrounded by a circle of soldiers. The realization that it had all been a trap washes over him. He looks at the necklace, and holds it tightly in his face before facing the lead soldier who takes a few steps towards him. “Where did you get this?” he asks. The soldier answers casually; “from the dead.” 

It’s like losing her all over again. “We found your name on the internet. Your college wasn’t the best place to hide,” says the soldier. “There’s no point in fighting, why don’t you just give in?” asks the soldier contemptuously. Alex takes out his lover’s necklace and puts it around his neck, and then stares at the soldier before speaking: “because, I promised.” The confident smiles on the soldier’s faces do not last long. He defeats each one of them handily. He is finally left with the lead soldier he had been talking to, who looks bewildered. “Why do you keep fighting? You’ll never win this war?” Alex just smiles: “Be at peace.” The soldier dies, Alex shuts his eyes, and says a silent prayer. He then crosses himself, and walks away.

He visits his lover’s grave the next day, and buries the necklace. Flowers are in full bloom now, and the wind is in Alex’s hair. He takes it in, and then walks into the warmth of the sun. He starts to whistle the tune “she’s gotta be somebody’s babe.” The sun is shining, life’s not so bad.